Why did James and Raquel break up? A deep dive into the factors behind their split - 33rd Square (2024)

James Kennedy and Raquel Leviss were one of the longest-running couples featured on Vanderpump Rules over the past five years. Their dramatic ups and downs kept viewers hooked and rooting for them – from James‘ frightening temper issues to Raquel‘s unwavering forgiveness. Their proposal and engagement seemed like a happy ending for the turbulent couple.

But in December 2021, James and Raquel shocked fans by announcing their split and calling off their engagement.

So what went wrong? What specifically led to this surprising breakup after five years together?

Let‘s analyze the key factors and events that ultimately caused James and Raquel‘s relationship to crumble.

A Summary of James and Raquel‘s Rollercoaster Romance

Before we dive into the breakup details, let‘s recap James and Raquel‘s wild relationship over the years:

• James and Raquel first met around 2016 and went public with their relationship in early 2017.

• Raquel joined the Vanderpump Rules cast in season 7 as James‘ new girlfriend. Fans were introduced to their up-and-down dynamic.

• James exhibited major anger issues early on, lashing out at Raquel over minor things. He gaslit her and took advantage of her forgiving nature.

• In May 2018, disgusting rage texts from James to Raquel leaked publicly, where he called her cruel names. This caused major drama but Raquel stuck by him.

• During season 8, Raquel made the questionable choice to move in with James. But his extreme partying, anger problems, and disrespect continued.

• In season 9, James staged an elaborate Coachella-themed proposal to Raquel in 2020. She happily accepted and they began wedding planning.

• To the public, they seemed happier than ever. But off-camera, there was growing trouble in paradise that viewers didn‘t see.

• In December 2021, James and Raquel announced they had called off their engagement after 5 chaotic years together.

This sums up their turbulent history and the context leading up to their split. Now let‘s analyze the specific factors that caused this couple‘s demise.

Factor 1 – James‘ Uncontrolled Anger and Abuse

In my opinion, James‘ severe anger issues and abusive behavior towards Raquel was the number one factor that led to their breakup.

From the very beginning, James exhibited scary temper problems and took his rage out on Raquel frequently. Here are some examples of his disturbing behavior over the years:

• Punching holes in walls and breaking his hand during arguments with Raquel.

• Yelling insults at Raquel‘s family members during social events.

• Throwing a drink directly in Raquel‘s face and abandoning her at a club in Las Vegas.

• Sending cruel text messages calling Raquel horrific names like "sl*t" and "wh**e".

These are just a few examples – there are many more documented cases of James‘ unprovoked anger and violence towards his girlfriend on the show.

In my view, this level of rage and abuse is completely unacceptable for any relationship. The fact that Raquel endured it for over 4 years shows her incredible capacity to forgive.

But everyone has a breaking point. Despite Raquel‘s endless patience and excuses for James, eventually his anger likely became too much to bear any longer. She probably realized, after years of chaos, that James was never going to change his ways.

For her own dignity and mental health, Raquel knew she had to walk away. She deserved a relationship with mutual love and respect, not one plagued by James‘ scary temper, insults, and abuse. This turbulent dynamic was simply unsustainable long-term.

In sum, James‘ disturbing anger issues were the number one contributor to their doomed relationship in my opinion. Raquel could only make excuses and endure his abuse for so long before reaching her limit.

Factor 2 – Cheating Rumors and Infidelity

Cheating was likely the final nail in the coffin for James and Raquel‘s relationship.

During Vanderpump Rules season 10, it was revealed that James cheated on Raquel by hooking up with fellow cast member Lala Kent.

Up until then, Raquel had exhibited endless patience with James‘ many flaws. But cheating and infidelity was understandably her dealbreaker.

The revelation of James‘ unfaithful behavior on the show proved he still had no respect for Raquel even after their engagement. As his wife-to-be, she rightfully expected faithfulness.

In addition to cheating rumors, James displayed other behaviors that violated relationship trust:

• Constant late night partying and excessive drinking
• Surrounding himself with single friends who enabled bad decisions
• Photos and videos surfacing of James looking cozy with other women

Even if James never physically cheated besides the incident with Lala, this behavior still showed blatant disrespect to his partner Raquel. It indicated he could not be trusted to settle down and commit fully to their relationship.

I believe the cheating rumors combined with James‘ shady behavior was the final straw that prompted Raquel to leave the relationship for good. Up until then she had forgiven countless transgressions – but cheating was understandably her breaking point.

The leaked video of James kissing another woman (which we‘ll analyze next) was likely the catalyst that gave Raquel the courage she needed to walk away from this unhealthy relationship.

Factor 3 – The Leaked Kissing Video and James‘ Continued Lies

In December 2021, a graphic video was leaked showing James kissing another woman who was not Raquel.

The timing of this video leak lines up exactly with Raquel and James‘ breakup announcement just days later. So it seems clear this video was likely the final straw that led Raquel to end their engagement for good.

By this point, Raquel was already questioning her relationship with James due to his anger issues, the cheating rumors, and other red flags.

But this leaked video was hard, irrefutable evidence that James was still up to his unfaithful ways despite their engagement. It directly contradicted his claims that he would change.

Seeing James blatantly kiss another woman, captured on camera, was probably the last painful lie Raquel could stand. It gave her the push she needed to walk away from this unhealthy relationship once and for all.

While they never cited the video directly, the timing strongly suggests it was the last betrayal that destroyed Raquel‘s remaining trust and prompted her imminent breakup with James.

Factor 4 – Diverging Priorities and Mismatched Goals

Another factor that likely contributed to their split was growing misalignment about priorities and future goals as a couple.

In their breakup statement, James and Raquel vaguely cited "different goals" as a reason for ending their engagement. This requires some deeper analysis.

• At the time of their breakup, James was around 29 years old and Raquel was 26.

• James‘ priorities were focused on partying with friends, traveling, drinking, and trying to further his DJ career.

• Raquel‘s priorities shifted towards wanting more domestic stability, quality time together, and thoughtful preparations for their future as a married couple.

As they approached 30, it‘s understandable that Raquel wanted James to outgrow his reckless partying phase and demonstrate he could be a responsible, mature partner and future husband.

But James showed little interest in scaling back the party lifestyle to focus on his relationship. His actions indicated he wasn‘t ready to fully commit to Raquel and the adult responsibilities of marriage.

The bottom line is that James wanted to continue the party life with his friends while Raquel outgrew that phase. She needed evidence that James could change and be the stable, faithful husband she required.

Once it became clear James would not or could not align to her pace and priorities, Raquel had to make the difficult choice to let go and find a partner who shared her goals.

Their diverging mindsets proved they simply were not on the same page about what they wanted in life and in a marriage. Incompatible priorities like this can poison even the strongest relationships until they crack under pressure.

I believe James‘ immaturity combined with Raquel‘s evolving needs as a woman were a definite contributor to the demise of their relationship in the long run.

The Breakup Timeline – When and How Events Unfolded

Now that we‘ve explored the key factors that led to James and Raquel‘s split, let‘s analyze the exact timeline of events surrounding their breakup in late 2021:

• Early December 2021 – Raquel spends Thanksgiving away from James, sparking initial speculation among fans that they had broken up.

• December 5, 2021 – The graphic video leaks publicly showing James kissing a woman who isn‘t Raquel. This video immediately goes viral.

• December 6, 2021 – With zero warning, Raquel unfollows James on Instagram and deletes all traces of him from her profile. This shocks fans.

• December 7, 2021 – James and Raquel release a joint statement announcing they have ended their engagement.

• January 2022 – Raquel moves all of her belongings out of the apartment she shared with James. James is seen spitefully throwing her things in the garbage in front of paparazzi.

• February 2022 – At the Vanderpump Rules reunion taping, Raquel reveals she and James officially split around Thanksgiving after 5 years together. The video leak was seemingly the final blow.

Analyzing this timeline, Thanksgiving was likely the period when Raquel first considered ending things with James. The leaked video weeks later then prompted her to make the split official due to his continued disrespect.

While infidelity and growing misalignment were likely brewing issues, the video leak seemed to be the event that gave Raquel the courage to walk away for good. It was a clear sign that James had not changed his hurtful patterns despite their engagement.

This breakdown shows how the factors built up over time until the video leak ultimately sealed their doomed fate.

How Both Have Coped Since the Difficult Breakup

Ending any long-term relationship is an emotional rollercoaster. But for Raquel and James, their very public breakup carried extra challenges:

• They had to announce the split publicly since their relationship played out on Vanderpump Rules.

• Dividing shared belongings and separating their merged lives was difficult logistically.

• They still run in the same friend circles and live in the same city.

• Fans of the show were heavily invested in their relationship and breakup.

Despite these challenges, both seem to be coping well and transitioning positively into the next chapter post-split:

James Kennedy has moved on with a new girlfriend, model Ally Lewber. Based on social media, they appear very happy together traveling and attending events as a couple. James gushes that Ally is his "ride or die". This relationship seems much healthier so far.

Raquel Leviss has remained single since the very public breakup to focus on self-care and personal growth. She bought a new home and seems content enjoying time with close friends. Raquel appears peaceful and in control as she adjusts to single life again.

While ending their turbulent relationship was painful, Raquel has emphasized she does not regret it. She is happy to have gained self-love, strength, and important lessons. Both are optimistic about finding even better relationships in the future.

Overall, despite the inevitable challenges, James and Raquel seem to be thriving post-split and treating it as an opportunity to grow. Their maturity in coping demonstrates how much they‘ve both evolved from the drama we saw on the show.

My Takeaways on James and Raquel‘s Breakup

Having analyzed all the evidence, here are my key conclusions about the factors that led to James and Raquel‘s split:

• James‘ uncontrolled anger was the root issue – His scary temper and abuse caused irreparable cracks in the foundation of their relationship. Raquel stayed patient as long as she could before reaching her limit.

• Cheating and the video leak were the final straw – Dishonesty and infidelity violated Raquel‘s trust for good. The video was the last lie she could withstand before walking away.

• Diverging priorities poisoned the relationship – Raquel outgrew James‘ partying. She wanted an adult partner and James proved he wasn‘t ready, causing a rift.

• The breakup timing – Thanksgiving was likely the initial split, but the leaked video weeks later prompted Raquel to make the tough decision official after years of excuses.

• They are both coping well today – Despite the challenges of a public breakup, James and Raquel both seem happier and healthier after ending their rocky relationship.

The turbulent relationship between James and Raquel kept Vanderpump Rules viewers enthralled for years. Their breakup was unexpected, but makes sense when you analyze the underlying issues and events that led up to it.

In the end, I hope they both learned important lessons about themselves and relationships from their time together. Based on their coping and growth since, the future looks bright for James and Raquel as single individuals.

I don‘t know about you, but I will be rooting for both of them to continue evolving and finding true happiness after closing this rocky chapter! Raquel in particular deserves stability and care after putting up with James‘ treatment with grace for so many years.

But something tells me they haven‘t had their last encounter on Vanderpump Rules just yet. I suspect this rollercoaster relationship still has some surprises in store!

Let me know in the comments what you think caused James and Raquel‘s messy breakup. Are you Team James or Team Raquel? What‘s your biggest takeaway from their dramatic relationship and split?

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